Ummm…We Already Have A Michael Moore…But Thanks
Posted by bmac on April 17, 2008
Morgan Spurlock, the handlebar moustached Moore wannabe jackass, has made a timely movie about..get this..where is Bin Laden. Oh man, that’s really edgy dude! (If you don’t remember him, he made the anti-McDonalds “Super-Size Me”)
See? He’s “looking” for Bin Laden! HaHaHaHaHa!!! What a card!
You know what’s the most offensive thing about this guy? His totally condescending use of facial hair. You know damn well he wouldn’t have that dumb ass moustache if it wasn’t an outright slap in the face to the very people he claims (like Moore) to be “for.”
Attention any lost soul who thinks this guy is on your side: He’s mocking you. His moustache is a direct “fuck you” right to your face. His moustache thinks your moustache is is a dumb hick. His moustache is a poser. Your moustache would kick his moustaches ass if your moustache knew what his moustache really thinks of you.
His moustache drinks Pino, and eats stinky foreign cheese, and really likes it. His moustache wouldn’t drink a Bud if it were dying of thirst, and wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire, because his moustache is a big city “ironic” handlebar moustache, and if there’s anything his moustache really hates, it’s inbred hillbilly non-ironic handlebar moustaches that are on fire.
Don’t be fooled middle American handle bar moustaches, Morgan Spurlock’s moustache just wants to use you to finance his expensive tastes in everything you probably don’t like, and it’s laughing at you, as only a rich, ironic, New York City handlebar moustache can.
You’ve been warned.
Update: Thanks Cuffy, and hello LGF’ers!
Help yourself to a beer, they’re in the fridge.
April 17, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Cartoon version: http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2&hl=en&suggon=0&q=%22south+park%22+%22mr.+slave%22
April 17, 2008 at 6:01 pm
Actually bmac, that’s what’s called a fu manchu. I know this because I’ve had one for 15 years or so. He almost makes me want to shave it, but I know mine could kick the shit out of his, gray hairs and all.
April 17, 2008 at 6:37 pm
Sorry guys, but you’re both wrong. That is a “horseshoe” mustache according to the American Mustache Institute.
April 17, 2008 at 7:12 pm
You’re all wrong, it’s a “Hetfield.”
April 18, 2008 at 3:31 am
Man, forget penis envy. What I’m really jealous of is facial hair.
April 18, 2008 at 4:59 am
I think I saw that moustache as a stunt double in “Debbie Does Dallas” once.
Gotta go look at those credits…
April 18, 2008 at 11:37 am
You know what’s the most offensive thing about this guy? His totally condescending use of facial hair.
Might be the line of the week, bmac.
OK, take a good look at Morgan. He’s rockin’ that ’stache because without it he looks like someone who would get his ass kicked on an hourly basis. He’s tryin’ to look tough…
April 18, 2008 at 11:54 am
I thought “Supersize Me” was relatively entertaining.
Maybe it was because Spurlock’s girlfriend was a vegan freak of nature, he didn’t seem to be a preachy douche.
April 18, 2008 at 12:35 pm
I would love to see a cagematch between his condescending B.S. ’stache, and John Bolton’s mustache.
April 18, 2008 at 12:44 pm
He’s a hard core socialist lefty Rosetta. He’s a master of that Michael Moore method of being a “regular guy” while agressively pushing a hidden socialist agenda. Watch “Supersize Me” again with that in mind, and you might see it differently.
But don’t rent it!
April 18, 2008 at 12:45 pm
I would love to see a cagematch between his condescending B.S. ’stache, and John Bolton’s mustache.
Boltons cookie duster would mop the floor with Spurlock’s soup strainer.
April 19, 2008 at 9:23 am
My mustache hates his mousetache and has put out a mustache hit on Spurmor Lockgan.
April 19, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Spurlock’s spoogestache needs to go toe-to-toe with the Racist Codebreaker guy. Pinned in three!
April 19, 2008 at 2:34 pm
CALUMNY!!!
April 20, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Didn’t he have a show on cable where he planted some Muslims in a redneck town in the hopes some bigotry would ensue?
This guy is Michael Moore after gastric bypass.
April 21, 2008 at 6:13 am
I think so eddie, his show is called “30 Days”, and in one episode he spent a month working for minimum wage, to highlight how tough it is it maintain that kind of moustache on 6 bucks an hour.
I’d have to check on the Muslim thing but it certainly wouldn’t surprise me.
April 27, 2008 at 9:29 am
Waa waa waa, he made a documentary based on a simple concept that made tons of money, and I could’ve done that.
And by the way. Michael Moore bases every one of his documentaries on books that were exhaustively researched by whistle-blowing journalists. He might as well have given his Oscar to Greg Palast