I’m Back (Mostly)
Posted by bmac on February 21, 2008
Things are starting to return to normal around here, although the definition of normal would be more like: no major life-altering developments in at least two whole weeks, as opposed to “normal.” We have to establish a whole new normal before things can actually be normal, if that makes any sense.
Let’s see, what’s happened since I’ve been gone?
Universities seem to be one of the most dangerous places to be these days. If my wife and I had kids in college, they’d be armed. “Gun free zone” or not. What exactly are universities doing to reassure parents that their kid won’t be assassinated during English Lit? College campuses are becoming fucking killing fields, and campus security ain’t gonna risk their $10.00/hr asses to do anything about a murderous kid with a death wish.
Hell, the police won’t either. By the time they’ve finished their “risk assessment,” 500 rounds have been fired.
I’ll never forget a video I saw from Columbine of the SWAT team inching their way across the cafeteria with full body armor and shields. It must have taken them a full half hour to cross that cafeteria the way they were moving. Pathetic. Am I insane, or when kids are getting shot, should some cops have enough balls to run in ala Jack Bauer and fucking handle it? 400 cops outside staring at maps while kids are being picked off like bugs. Has bureaucracy taken away all the basic instincts to help people that are being murdered while literally hundreds of law enforcement stand there and listen to it happen?
Let’s see, what else? Obama’s gonna be the Dem nominee. The Paris Hilton of politics, famous for doing nothing. Even his biggest supporters stumble when asked what he’s ever accomplished. I gotta admit, I didn’t see that one coming. It does make sense though, who really thought that screechy, shrill, awful woman could get elected? Above all else, a Presidential candidate has to have a likeable personality. Well, except maybe Nixon. But every other President in my lifetime has been someone the average American would like to have a beer with. Or a cigar (IYKWIM) It’s a popularity contest more than anything, and Obama is the cool, good lookin’ head of the debate team guy, to Hillary’s dorky, angry, band-camp chick.
Obama will be crushed in the general. Crushed. But the media will fudge the numbers somehow, so it doesn’t look like America is full of redneck hillbillies.
Eventually, he’ll have to talk about something other than vague platitudes, and that will do him in.
That, and the fact that he’s black. With a Muslim name. Trust me, even Democrats will think twice when they step into that voting booth and see the name “Barack Hussein Obama” on the ballot they’re about to cast. And then they’ll promptly lie about it to pollsters.
Obama will have the highest exit poll numbers in history.
The media will be scratching their collective heads when the actual numbers get tallied. It’ll be the old “but everybody I know voted for him.”