Hef No Longer A Pimp

I’m bored with the news today, and I read an interesting little post at one of my favorite blogs, Rants and Raves, about Hugh Hefner. I like Hef, everybody does, but have you seen his reality show on E!, or I should say his girlfriends (3) reality show on E! called “The Girls Next Door”?

If you haven’t, the short and curly of it is, Hef has three “girlfriends” that live at the Playboy mansion, (in their own rooms) and I guess they alternate nights or something, in a kind of harem type of dealie, and the show follows their hilarious antics as basically paid prostitutes. Unless twenty-something hot blonde chicks are really into an 82 year old man and his fogey friends who get together on “movie night” to watch Casablanca for the 10,000th time.

The show is entertaining, obviously, because the chicks are smokin’ hot, but there’s a couple things I don’t get.

1. Why does Hef have to support these girls? Their only redeeming quality seems to be their hotness, they really are dumb as a box of rocks, and Hef could have hot and cold running hotness any day of the week. He can’t possibly be keeping them around for conversation. They also seem to be in a state of arrested development, these girls are in their late-twenties, and their rooms all look like Hello-Kitty exploded, all pink and fuzzy and child like. It’s kind of creepy really.

2. This show kind of makes Hef look like a desperate old man that has to support his young girlfriends in order to keep them around. I understand this show probably makes a pretty decent amount of cash for Hef, but damn, to me at least, he’s lost all pimp cred by footing the bill for these gold digging nitwits. I mean, couldn’t he pay for an apartment for them off campus? Just have them sit there like good little ho’s until the Viagra kicks in?

Cause that’s what he’s doing now, except the entire Playboy mansion staff has to wait on these Barbie Dolls hand and foot. That must really piss them off. I just can’t understand why Hef would be cool with looking like a lame sugar daddy.

3. These girls families make appearances on the show occasionally, including their fathers, and I just have to wonder about advertising on national TV that your daughter is Hef’s live in fuck buddy. I guess some dudes have no shame if it means getting near Hef.

I really wonder what the arrangement Hef has with these girls is? He’s gonna die soon. Do they get kicked to the curb? That’ll be a blow to 3 girls who are used to calling up the Chef at all hours to have him whip up a Pop-Tart. Do they get a nice severance package when Hef goes to the grotto in the sky? If so, why? How would his daughter (who runs the empire) feel about sharing the Hefner fortune with 3 idiots whose only purpose was to look pretty, and bone her dad when he was so inclined?

These are tough questions, but I’m incredibly bored.