A Fine Line Between Stupid And Clever

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Fun With The DMV!

Posted by bmac on March 21, 2008

About 6 years ago, I purchased a Ford F-350 diesel truck, because at the time, I did slab marble and granite for a living. If you don’t know, slab marble and granite installation is stuff like, granite kitchen countertops, marble bathroom vanities, and commercial stuff like walls in fancy lobbys, registration desks, just about anything that can have big pieces of stone on them. I needed a really heavy duty truck to carry this stuff to job sites, because obviously, it’s incredibly heavy. A half-ton pickup just can’t handle the load.

Two years after I bought the truck, I quit construction because, frankly, I was getting too old to carry around 300 lb pieces of rock everyday, and too old to take shit from younger foremen who didn’t know fuck- all about my trade. This is all superfluous information, but hey, it gives you a little insight into what a bmac is.

I was especially happy about the purchase, because 6 years ago, diesel gas was about 20-50 cents less a gallon than regular, and no smog check was needed to register the truck, because you can’t measure smog emissions without a catalytic converter, which does not exist on a diesel engine.

My euphoria at bypassing the system was short-lived however, as diesel trucks became all the rage here in Vegas, and this did not go unnoticed by the DMV, who immediately made smog checks mandatory on these vehicles that cannot possibly be smog checked. Not only can they not be smog checked, they can’t send the results of the non-smog check to the DMV. Know what that means? I can’t pay my registration online, because they don’t have the non-results of my non-smog check, that I paid $50 for.

This happens every year, this being the FOURTH YEAR that they haven’t bothered to figure out how to handle imaginary smog checks on vehicles that CANNOT POSSIBLY BE smog checked.

Which means I again have to go to the fucking DMV, and stand in line for at least an hour, to give the state money for finding an unnecessary way to fuck me out of $50 bucks.

Oh, let me tell you about the first year they did this. I went to get the imaginary smog check at a place that claimed they did imaginary smog checks. The idiot at the place spent about 15 minutes looking under the hood in vain for the catalytic converter, then failed me because he’s a fucking retard, and sent the fail right to the DMV, which meant I couldn’t go find another retard who understood this is all a fucking scam.

I then had to go to the DMV, where another retard had to TAKE A FUCKING PICTURE of the little sticker under my hood that says “This engine has no catalytic converter” to prove I technically didn’t fail the imaginary smog check, then I got to stand in line AGAIN, with the retards poloroid of the underside of my hood. This entire process took almost a full day.

Every fucking year with this shit.

Oh, and diesel gas is now 60 cents MORE a gallon than regular.

Anybody wanna buy a truck?

11 Responses to “Fun With The DMV!”

  1. Univeral Healthcare Now!

  2. Free schooling for everyone!……….oh, wait……nevermind.

  3. cranky said

    You’re sounding like a typical white person$trade; about this. A person of color would never complain about something like this because they know it’s for for their own good — and your’s too.

    BTW, do you know what line I get in to sign up for government paid ass wiping?

  4. cranky said

    $trade; supposed to equal the trademark thingy™

  5. Enas Yorl said

    Well, did you look here: NVDMV? I seems that while you are not able to do the registraton online, you can do it through the mail.

  6. in2thefray said

    I don’t know if I’m laughing with you or at you.That is one funny story though. Are the “shops” that do the checks just garages that are “certified” or are they separate entities ? If it’s the latter let’s go half-zies and start a franchise chain. Imaginary Emissions Centers of Nevada.

  7. bmac said

    Enas, yeah, I just ran out of time, but it’s still a ridiculous requirement designed for the single purpose of extracting money from my (already) thin wallet. Smog checks on gas cars are ineffective as it is, on a diesel it’s 100% useless. Not only do I have to pay literally for nothing, I also don’t get the same convenience as people with gas cars, that even if they pass, emit more smog than mine. It’s a little thing yes, but it just pisses me off every year.

    Fray, these places are certified, and I’m not sure why you would laugh AT me. I’m just pointing out the utterly pointless bureaucracy behind the DMV, and by extension, government, with a funny story.

    Basically, a diesel can’t pass OR fail the test, you just get a receipt that says you coughed up 50 bucks, the computer at these places goes straight to the DMV, and a diesel shows no result, so…nothing to send to the DMV.

  8. Well Bmac, the inspection can’t be totally useless….the DMV gets $50 out of it!! So, at the very least it is of use to them.

    On an “aside” note – you may want to let your local newspaper write up the ad for you 350 diesel because I’m not sure you are representing the selling points to their greatest advantage!!

    Happy Easter

  9. in2thefray said

    Meant as human bmac never really laughing at you. Hate to say I like seeing a state as stupid as mine (MA).Take care no offense meant.

  10. bmac said

    No sweat Fray, and we used to be one of the better states as far as stupid laws, but that has changed in the last few years.

    Thanks Californians!

  11. […] Fun With The DMV! « A Fine Line Between Stupid And Clever […]

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