A Fine Line Between Stupid And Clever

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“Most Awesome Dude In The World” = Box Office Poison

Posted by bmac on April 5, 2008

Why don’t people go to George Clooney movies? I mean, he’s awesome! So fuckin’ awesome! Isn’t he the most awesome actor ever? Everybody loves him don’t they? Girls want to be with him, guys want to be him. Apparently, just not in a movie theater.

Has The Most Awesome Dude In The World ever carried a film on his own? Any of his movies that have done even moderately well, were ensemble pieces. The Oceans movies, O Brother Where Art Thou, Perfect Storm…..umm……gee that’s about it for Clooney films that anyone has ever seen.

Now let’s see how The Most Awesome Dude In The World fares on his own:

Michael Clayton, Syriana, The Good German, Solaris, The Peacemaker, Intolerable Cruelty, Confessions of a Dangerous mind, Good Night and Good Luck, Three Kings, Out Of Sight, One Fine Day, Batman and Robin, and of course, his soon to be addition to the Clooney Pantheon of Dust Collecting DVD Rentals, Leatherheads.

But Hollywood was watching Leatherheads‘ release to see if Clooney could open the movie. As one studio mogul said to me this morning, “He’s no Will Smith.” The problem isn’t Clooney’s worldwide fame, it’s his ability to generate domestic gross by putting North American moviegoers into theater seats.

Fuckin’ A he’s no Will Smith.

I’d bet even the Wayans Brothers out earn Mr. Awesome with all those terrible spoof movies on a regular basis, but nobody’s asking them to run for office, or work for the U.N.

Somehow I doubt his colossal failure as an actor will stop the media from crawling up his ass so far they can see his dental work.

Has there ever been a more over rated actor in the history of Hollywood?

You know what really sucks? I bet there’s hundreds of really great scripts that are sitting on producers desks in Hollywood, that’ll never get made because George Fuckin’ Clooney, or Nicole Kidman want to make a movie, and they all trip over their own feet to put up a ton of money on these assholes that make unwatchable, guaranteed  box office disasters every time.

I just don’t get it.

26 Responses to ““Most Awesome Dude In The World” = Box Office Poison”

  1. Clooney, whattadouche.

    btw, bmac, my troll is back, calling you out. Get ready for chickenhawkery…

  2. bmac said

    On my way……

    Damn! I never get trolls!
    I want some trolls!
    The only ones I get are drive-by’s.

  3. “Get off Hackworth’s cock.” A-W-E-S-O-M-E.

  4. bmac said

    It’s always good to throw a little cock around…
    Wait…what?

  5. George Clooney said

    It’s always good to throw a little cock around…

    Hey there big fella! Whatchoo up to tonight?

  6. Kowboy said

    This douchebag can only wish he was 1/10 the man Charlton Heston was.

    R.I.P. Chuck.

  7. bmac said

    I agree Kowboy, Clooney’s not worthy of being a pimple on Chuck Hestons ass.

    God bless you Charlton Heston, we’ve lost one of the last real men in Hollywood.

  8. cranky said

    Is this the WordPress George Clooney Fan Club meeting? I’m not late, am I?

    And a God bless and God speed to Mr. Heston. May God keep him close to His heart.

  9. Stashiu3 said

    “From Dusk Till Dawn” is the only one he was in that I liked. Charleton Heston… can’t think of any he was in that I didn’t like.

    R.I.P.

  10. OT: bmac, troll update: RonS. got banned. Sigh.

  11. I like him in most movies, he’s just a doofus personally. The Peacemaker was great, until the very end, where most thrillers fall apart.

  12. bmac said

    I won’t say I completely dislike him in films, I liked him in “Dusk” and he was great in “O’Brother”.

    He’s just not a “Movie Star.”

    We’re so lacking in Heston, McQueen types, that the media is just dying for a guy that’s not an effeminate, metro sexual pussy, and he’s about the closest they can find.

  13. Veeshir said

    But, but, but, he has such a distinguished chin! and ummm, well, he has… ummm….
    He did rock in O Brother. His problem is that, except for that movie, he always seems to play the same guy.

    Jimmy Stewart and John Wayne could get away with always playing the same guy (well, Jimmy had three guys he played, but still) because people like those guys.

  14. bmac said

    Well, Veeshir, you’ve hit on my theory that nearly ALL actors basically play themselves, with better dialogue.

    Nicholson is the King Lord Bufu of this “acting” technique.

    The one modern actor who actually “acts?” Johnny Depp.

    And I’ll give some brownie points to DiCaprio. He’s pretty good.

  15. Rosetta said

    bmac makes a good point with actor’s playing themselves, with better dialogue.

    Sean Penn in I Am Sam™

  16. Bmac The Actor™

  17. bmac said

    If I knew how to do the stupid “TM” thing, I’d totally do it like this:

    You guys are Dicks(TM)

  18. Rosetta said

    HA!!!

    FOOD FIGHT!!!!

  19. What’s the matter? Jealous?™

  20. bmac said

    You can’t “TM” jealous!

    *note to self: learn fuckin’ “TM” thing*

  21. I Just Did!™

  22. Rosetta said

    pajama momma is engaging in ™ inflation.

    STOP IT!!

  23. You’re fired!™

  24. bmac said

    Trumps attorney’s on the phone.

  25. Veeshir said

    My theory is that he did play himself in O Brother, that’s why he sucks in the rest of his movies.
    I mean, I can totally imagine him saying, “My hair!” everytime he wakes up.
    Well, that or, “My chin!”.

  26. bmac said

    He’s probably got a whole closet full of Dapper Dan.

    Cause he’s a Dapper Dan Man.

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