“Most Awesome Dude In The World” = Box Office Poison

Why don’t people go to George Clooney movies? I mean, he’s awesome! So fuckin’ awesome! Isn’t he the most awesome actor ever? Everybody loves him don’t they? Girls want to be with him, guys want to be him. Apparently, just not in a movie theater.

Has The Most Awesome Dude In The World ever carried a film on his own? Any of his movies that have done even moderately well, were ensemble pieces. The Oceans movies, O Brother Where Art Thou, Perfect Storm…..umm……gee that’s about it for Clooney films that anyone has ever seen.

Now let’s see how The Most Awesome Dude In The World fares on his own:

Michael Clayton, Syriana, The Good German, Solaris, The Peacemaker, Intolerable Cruelty, Confessions of a Dangerous mind, Good Night and Good Luck, Three Kings, Out Of Sight, One Fine Day, Batman and Robin, and of course, his soon to be addition to the Clooney Pantheon of Dust Collecting DVD Rentals, Leatherheads.

But Hollywood was watching Leatherheads‘ release to see if Clooney could open the movie. As one studio mogul said to me this morning, “He’s no Will Smith.” The problem isn’t Clooney’s worldwide fame, it’s his ability to generate domestic gross by putting North American moviegoers into theater seats.

Fuckin’ A he’s no Will Smith.

I’d bet even the Wayans Brothers out earn Mr. Awesome with all those terrible spoof movies on a regular basis, but nobody’s asking them to run for office, or work for the U.N.

Somehow I doubt his colossal failure as an actor will stop the media from crawling up his ass so far they can see his dental work.

Has there ever been a more over rated actor in the history of Hollywood?

You know what really sucks? I bet there’s hundreds of really great scripts that are sitting on producers desks in Hollywood, that’ll never get made because George Fuckin’ Clooney, or Nicole Kidman want to make a movie, and they all trip over their own feet to put up a ton of money on these assholes that make unwatchable, guaranteed  box office disasters every time.

I just don’t get it.