A Fine Line Between Stupid And Clever

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Ummm…We Already Have A Michael Moore…But Thanks

Posted by bmac on April 17, 2008

Morgan Spurlock, the handlebar moustached Moore wannabe jackass, has made a timely movie about..get this..where is Bin Laden. Oh man, that’s really edgy dude! (If you don’t remember him, he made the anti-McDonalds “Super-Size Me”)

See? He’s “looking” for Bin Laden! HaHaHaHaHa!!! What a card!

You know what’s the most offensive thing about this guy? His totally condescending use of facial hair. You know damn well he wouldn’t have that dumb ass moustache if it wasn’t an outright slap in the face to the very people he claims (like Moore) to be “for.”

Attention any lost soul who thinks this guy is on your side: He’s mocking you. His moustache is a direct “fuck you” right to your face. His moustache thinks your moustache is is a dumb hick. His moustache is a poser. Your moustache would kick his moustaches ass if your moustache knew what his moustache really thinks of you.

His moustache drinks Pino, and eats stinky foreign cheese, and really likes it. His moustache wouldn’t drink a Bud if it were dying of thirst, and wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire, because his moustache is a big city “ironic” handlebar moustache, and if there’s anything his moustache really hates, it’s inbred hillbilly non-ironic handlebar moustaches that are on fire.

Don’t be fooled middle American handle bar moustaches, Morgan Spurlock’s moustache just wants to use you to finance his expensive tastes in everything you probably don’t like, and it’s laughing at you, as only a rich, ironic, New York City handlebar moustache can.

You’ve been warned.

Update: Thanks Cuffy, and hello LGF’ers!

Help yourself to a beer, they’re in the fridge.

19 Responses to “Ummm…We Already Have A Michael Moore…But Thanks”

  1. Cartoon version: http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2&hl=en&suggon=0&q=%22south+park%22+%22mr.+slave%22

  2. Kowboy said

    Actually bmac, that’s what’s called a fu manchu. I know this because I’ve had one for 15 years or so. He almost makes me want to shave it, but I know mine could kick the shit out of his, gray hairs and all. 🙂

  3. Enas Yorl said

    Sorry guys, but you’re both wrong. That is a “horseshoe” mustache according to the American Mustache Institute.

  4. James Hetfield's Mustache said

    You’re all wrong, it’s a “Hetfield.”

  5. S. Weasel said

    Man, forget penis envy. What I’m really jealous of is facial hair.

  6. Old Iron said

    I think I saw that moustache as a stunt double in “Debbie Does Dallas” once.

    Gotta go look at those credits…

  7. Nigel said

    You know what’s the most offensive thing about this guy? His totally condescending use of facial hair.

    Might be the line of the week, bmac.

    OK, take a good look at Morgan. He’s rockin’ that ‘stache because without it he looks like someone who would get his ass kicked on an hourly basis. He’s tryin’ to look tough…

  8. Rosetta said

    I thought “Supersize Me” was relatively entertaining.

    Maybe it was because Spurlock’s girlfriend was a vegan freak of nature, he didn’t seem to be a preachy douche.

  9. nicedeb said

    I would love to see a cagematch between his condescending B.S. ‘stache, and John Bolton’s mustache.

  10. bmac said

    He’s a hard core socialist lefty Rosetta. He’s a master of that Michael Moore method of being a “regular guy” while agressively pushing a hidden socialist agenda. Watch “Supersize Me” again with that in mind, and you might see it differently.

    But don’t rent it!

  11. bmac said

    I would love to see a cagematch between his condescending B.S. ’stache, and John Bolton’s mustache.

    Boltons cookie duster would mop the floor with Spurlock’s soup strainer.

  12. cranky said

    My mustache hates his mousetache and has put out a mustache hit on Spurmor Lockgan.

  13. Spurlock’s spoogestache needs to go toe-to-toe with the Racist Codebreaker guy. Pinned in three!

  14. bmac said


  15. eddiebear said

    Didn’t he have a show on cable where he planted some Muslims in a redneck town in the hopes some bigotry would ensue?

    This guy is Michael Moore after gastric bypass.

  16. bmac said

    I think so eddie, his show is called “30 Days”, and in one episode he spent a month working for minimum wage, to highlight how tough it is it maintain that kind of moustache on 6 bucks an hour.

    I’d have to check on the Muslim thing but it certainly wouldn’t surprise me.

  17. Nick Olds said

    Waa waa waa, he made a documentary based on a simple concept that made tons of money, and I could’ve done that.

    And by the way. Michael Moore bases every one of his documentaries on books that were exhaustively researched by whistle-blowing journalists. He might as well have given his Oscar to Greg Palast

  18. Just wishing you an early Merry Christmas

  19. Net Lease said

    These Celebs (or Celeb wannabes) try so hard to make our great Military look bad. WE, the People support our Troops. Let’s stop supporting Anti-American celebs.

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