A Fine Line Between Stupid And Clever

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The Loss Of Mystique

Posted by bmac on May 7, 2008

Ran across this article in the Hollywood Reporter about A-List movie stars and their drastically falling box office numbers, and this paragraph jumped out at me.

The decline of star power comes as consumers are viewing film actors differently. Such voyeuristic media outlets as “Access Hollywood” and TMZ.com have demystified celebrities even as they feed unprecedented interest. Why turn out for a favorite star’s movie if you can watch him walk his dog on TV and the Internet?

“Demystified celebrities.”

“Mystique is what draws people to the movies,” PMK publicist Catherine Olim says. “People want to go to the movies to get lost in a performance. And it’s hard to do that with so much interference.”

This insatiable interest in knowing every single mundane detail of celebrities lives has definitely ruined a lot of my own enjoyment of movies, and music. With a camera stuck in their face 24/7, I just can’t escape finding out their idiotic political views, or just how fucking retarded they really are.

This is exactly why studios used to control their stars, and limit and monitor their exposure to the media, so that you could accept a five foot tall freak like Tom Cruise as an action hero, or romantic lead. Tom’s career is over now because he couldn’t shut his fucking ignorant yap.

Actors and musicians depend on you thinking they know something you don’t, and as soon as you find out they’re drooling morons in real life, good luck selling them as a brilliant master of espionage, or a nuanced commentator on social issues through poetic lyrics and music.

This is also why Rock and Roll is dead. MySpace has killed rock. Killed it completely by giving us too much information, and allowing fans to interact directly with their beloved stars. An example:

Led Zeppelin used to have final approval on EVERY photo of them that was ever used. If a magazine published an un-approved photo that didn’t meet “Hammer Of The Gods” standards, that magazine never got to speak to Led Zeppelin ever again. They almost never gave interviews. Music journalists were granted very limited access to them. Led Zeppelin treated the press like the useful idiots they are. No one knew their opinion about politics or the environment. They understood the power of Mystique, and that holds up for them to this day.

Can you imagine Jimmy Page Blogging about inane bullshit? Robert Plant answering a moronic fans question about boxers or briefs?  I can’t, it would ruin the whole thing.

I think I listened to “Dark Side of The Moon” at least a thousand times, before I even knew what Pink Floyd looked like. Their lyrics could be interpreted a million different ways. Roger Waters didn’t go on MySpace and explain his lyrics right after he told you how hard it is to find a good cheeseburger in Tulsa. They understood Mystique as well as Zep, and they understood that without it, they were a pretty boring, unattractive group of fellas.

MySpace, TMZ, Perez Hilton, Access Hollywood, and the women who are the main consumers of this shit, have killed Rock and Roll, and are killing movies now by wringing every last tedious detail out of anyone that might have ever been remotely interesting, with endless “reporting” about shopping sprees and “Baby Bumps.”

31 Responses to “The Loss Of Mystique”

  1. Rosetta said

    omg OMG O.M.G.!!! BRITNEY SHAVED HER HEAD!!! SHE. SHAVED. HER. HEAD!!!

    If life was a video game, I would kill these people in the following order:

    1) The consumers of this tripe, by strangulation. It is by sheer fortune that all of us in this country weren’t born impoverished and malnourished in the Sudan. To waste that gift of freedom and fortune with meaningless details about meaningless people infuriates me too. Idiots. Get a fucking life or trade places with someone that will.

    2) The purveyors of the tripe, by beating with a spiked club. I’m as capitalist as you can get and if a buck is to be made, someone’s going to make it. But if you choose celebrity gossip as your product, you’re selling a drug that makes its users and our culture dumber than shit.

    3) As far as the nitwit celebrities themselves, I don’t think I would actually kill them. I would take their money and their material possessions away and have them work the drive-in at Taco Bell.

    If they spit in my Nachos Bellgrande, then I’ll kill them.

  2. No habla Taco Bell.

  3. *Spit*

  4. bmac said

    *Spit*

    There’s a really pissed off bald lesbian man/thing headed your way with a gimme.

    Check the Hostages for what a “gimme” is.

  5. Rosetta said

    There’s a really pissed off bald lesbian man/thing headed your way with a gimme.

    Hahahahaha!

    It’s getting harder and harder to stay current on the jokes. You have to read every comment on five different blogs to know what the hell is going on.

    Nicely done, 3PE.

  6. bmac said

    Nicely done, 3PE.

    Thank you.

    Cock.

    /Ette.

  7. Rosetta said

    Hahahaha.

    I have a new game. The objective is to get pajama momma to click on this youTube video as many times as possible by putting it in random comments under false pretenses.

    She fucking hates it which makes me happy.

  8. Rosetta said

    Comment by pajama momma on May 7, 2008 8:16 pm

    I hate you rosetta! I really hate you!

    That’s your equivalent of a rickroll isn’t it?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  9. bmac said

    HaHaHaHa!!

    Ok. I’ll try it.

  10. MCPO Airdale said

    Never gonna give you. . . BOOM!

    HA!

  11. Rosetta said

    Never gonna give you. . . BOOM!

    Hahahaha!

    It takes so very little to make me happy.

  12. I have a new game. The objective is to get pajama momma to click on this youTube video as many times as possible by putting it in random comments under false pretenses.

    She fucking hates it which makes me happy.

    Oh I see. What? Did you think I never come here? Is this your little secret-secret chat room? Well you’re not gonna get me anymore! No way, no siree. nope

  13. bmac said

    The jig is up!

    Oops, is “jig” racist?

    My apologies to any Jigs that may have been offended by my use of an old-timey phrase.

  14. S. Weasel said

    Hedgerow. It’s the hedge around a field.

  15. bmac said

    Fixed it Weasel

    I’m an idiot.

  16. Oh vocab lesson! sweet

  17. Rosetta said

    Hey, who told pajama momma the secret knock?

  18. You’s dink ah’ duzn’t know de secret knock? Oh ah’ know de secret knock and ah’ know how t’use it. Man! I’m not gonna let ya’ bastards grind me waaay down.

    That dialectizer sucks. That doesn’t look like jive. It looks like jamaican mon.

  19. Rosetta said

    You’s dink ah’ duzn’t know de secret knock? Oh ah’ know de secret knock and ah’ know how t’use it. Man! I’m not gonna let ya’ bastards grind me waaay down.

    bmac, you might want to consider banning friggin’ Jar Jar Binks here. Those kind of comments from her could kill your readership.

  20. bmac said

    My Jamaican readers will be furious!

  21. It is better to be thought an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it. Too bad almost all of our celebrities are idiots.

  22. […] The Loss Of Mystique « A Fine Line Between Stupid And Clever […]

  23. Michael said

    ^
    I liked this post.

  24. sandy burger said

    Roger Waters didn’t go on MySpace and explain his lyrics right after he told you how hard it is to find a good cheeseburger in Tulsa.

    Those were the days. But now, Roger Waters tells us to vote for Obama.

  25. bmac said

    Thanks Michael, a link at IB is quite a compliment.

    One of these days I’ll get the balls to actually comment there.

    It only took me like a year to gin up the guts to jump in at the Hostages.

  26. Rosetta said

    Pussy.

    The difference is that IB morons are smart. Hostages morons are dumb as a box of retard Paris Hilton hammers.

  27. Rosetta said

    dumb as a box of retard Paris Hilton hammers™

  28. bmac said

    The difference is that IB morons are smart.

    Exactly.

    Exactly™

  29. Rosetta said

    Dum morans UNIGHT!!!!!

  30. bmac said

    Exseslier!!

    What?

  31. […] Posted in General, Music, News, Television, movies at 3:09 pm by Aurvant I could not have wrote this out better myself. […]

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