Posted by bmac on May 12, 2008
Man, nothing is remotely interesting lately. Is it just me? I’m bored to tears with politics, pop culture is blah, I don’t know, I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel here, and look what I found in the disgusting muck:
Internet Skank Tila Tequila Gets A Book Deal.
This is a hard one for me to understand. Not that she has a book, but why anyone is interested in this chick at all. Even by stripper standards, she’s a total skank. Seriously, if you think this chick is hot, they must love you at the discount topless bar.
She’s got a weird square jaw, a tiny mouth, giant eyes, and a really bad boob job. She sorta looks like an alien. An annoying alien with bad boobs. She’s just “off”, like a couple of chromosomes got mixed up during the hotness “quickening” before she was born.
We used to call these girls “Mahoney Heads.” That basically means, they kinda could be hot under the most ideal circumstances, like great lighting, just the right amount of Jagermiester, being 2 A.M., and standing next to a fat girl. They have an Ok body and hair, but the face is just……wrong. They also usually have a ridiculous amount of perfume, or body spray on, which should always be a big red flag.
Maybe it’s because she is so gross, that guys think she’s attainable. That must be it. Maybe there’s like three million dudes out there that think being her MySpace friend is the fast track to winning her undying skank love.
My favorite line from the article:
“The world cannot get enough of Tila Tequila,”
Mahoney Heads rejoice! Your time has come! Your Mohono-siah is here!