A Fine Line Between Stupid And Clever

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Mahoney Heads

Posted by bmac on May 12, 2008

Man, nothing is remotely interesting lately. Is it just me? I’m bored to tears with politics, pop culture is blah, I don’t know, I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel here, and look what I found in the disgusting muck:

Internet Skank Tila Tequila Gets A Book Deal.

This is a hard one for me to understand. Not that she has a book, but why anyone is interested in this chick at all. Even by stripper standards, she’s a total skank. Seriously, if you think this chick is hot, they must love you at the discount topless bar.

She’s got a weird square jaw, a tiny mouth, giant eyes, and a really bad boob job. She sorta looks like an alien. An annoying alien with bad boobs. She’s just “off”, like a couple of chromosomes got mixed up during the hotness “quickening” before she was born.

We used to call these girls “Mahoney Heads.” That basically means, they kinda could be hot under the most ideal circumstances, like great lighting, just the right amount of Jagermiester, being 2 A.M.,  and standing next to a fat girl. They have an Ok body and hair, but the face is just……wrong. They also usually have a ridiculous amount of perfume, or body spray on, which should always be a big red flag.

Maybe it’s because she is so gross, that guys think she’s attainable. That must be it. Maybe there’s like three million dudes out there that think being her MySpace friend is the fast track to winning her undying skank love.

My favorite line from the article:

“The world cannot get enough of Tila Tequila,”

Mahoney Heads rejoice! Your time has come! Your Mohono-siah is here!

 

14 Responses to “Mahoney Heads”

  1. nicedeb said

    What do they mean the world can’t get enough of her? I just found out about her, and I seriously don’t care to hear more.

  2. Rosetta said

    I heard a comedian recently say that Tila Tequila is so vapid that she dumbed down MTV. Hahahaha.

    She personifies 87 of the 104 things wrong with the world today.

    Whoever buys her book should be hit in the head with a GIimme, put on a bus and driven over a cliff.

  3. MCPO Airdale said

    nicedeb – I’m with you. Who is this slattern?

  4. Rosetta said

    Slattern?????

    I LEARNED A NEW WORD TODAY!!!

    Thanks, MCPO!

    Here, I’ll try to teach you a new phrase: Dirty Gilligan

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dirty+gilligan

  5. She’s got that, my momma drank while she was pregnant with me look.

  6. Rosetta said

    Lights are on but no one’s home.

  7. bmac said

    Slattern

    Is that like some Asian slam MCPO? Like Slopehead? I would never say Slopehead. Slopehead is strictly off limits here. No Slopehead’s here people.

    Dirty Gilligan-HaHaHaHaHa!!!!!

    She’s got that, my momma drank while she was pregnant with me look.

    Mahoney Head

  8. MCPO Airdale said

    bmac- No, not an Asian slam. Although there are Asian slatterns, it is a behavioral rather than an ethnic description.

    rosetta – Thanks. A new nautical phrase enters into my vernacular.

  9. bmac said

    Gotcha MCPO.

    (I was just kidding)

  10. Here, I’ll try to teach you a new phrase: Dirty Gilligan

    OMG! Ok, like that has ever been done. Ninja please. Do men just sit around all day thinking of perver……….nevermind, stupid question.

  11. Kowboy said

    Is it just me, or does she look like she chases parked cars?

  12. This probably isn’t news but we always call women like her Butter Faces.

    “She’s pretty hot… butter face is fucking ugly.”

    That and she’s borderline retarded.

  13. bmac said

    Yep, Mahoney Head is a Butter Face.

    Just cooler sounding, because you’re not really sure what it means.

    My buddy went out with a Butter Face with the last name of Mahoney, and a derogatory term was born.

  14. composmentis said

    She’s a freakshow, nothing more.

    The book will have no substance but will be something to which today’s morons can relate. Just like her.

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