Posted by bmac on May 27, 2008
In between UFC, drinking and BBQ’s this weekend, I watched a few movies, and damn, was I disappointed. I realized why I almost never rent movies anymore, because they all suck. Have movies always been this bad? And yes, they’re old, and I’m really glad I didn’t see them in a theater.
First up: Cloverfield
It’s all been said about this film, but I would add, that a ptoentially really awesome concept was totally blown. I hate to see such a cool idea turn into something so utterly pointless. Big monster wrecks New York, they nuke it, the end. Does anybody have any imagination anymore? It literally was Godzilla shot with a video camera. Obviously, this entire film was made around a concept for a kick ass trailer.
Well, they succeeded, it was a kick ass trailer.
Speaking of lack of imagination, I had high hopes for:
National Treasure 2: Book of National Treasure One
Fuck, can these guys even try? Another gigantic underground cavern with oil trenches just waiting 200 years for Nic Cage to touch his torch to and light the place up revealing an amazing lost city of gold? A precarious balancing act on another rickety old thing above another super deep hole? Why even go to the expense of re-filming it?
I just don’t get how with a movie this big, that cost as much as this cost, that they couldn’t get a kick ass script. Couldn’t they throw around enough money to get an amazing writer? When they spent 90 billion dollars to start production of this thing, didn’t anyone say, “Ummm……isn’t this a weak version of the same movie with the oil trenches and over the top treasure, but way less believable and corny?” Anyone?
What are they gonna do for National Treasure 3, find Atlantis in the basement of the Washington Monument? They pretty much can’t make one now that wouldn’t be ridiculously asinine. Ruined what could have been a really cool franchise by waaaay over doing it. Once again, Hollywood totally misreads the public. The cool thing about the first National Treasure, was all the clues, not the big stunts, or action sequences.
Finally, Alien Vs Predator-Requiem
Somebody should be killed for making this. The first one was marginally entertaining, but this was an abortion. Again, I just don’t know how something this horrible gets made. There’s nobody to root for in this movie. How does a script this bad get filmed? With good effects and everything? No story, no hero, they kill fucking babies in this nightmare for Gods sake. It was beyond offensive, and I’m pissed that I somehow contributed to it’s existence.
Ok, so if you haven’t seen these, ummm…SPOILER ALERT!! THEY SUCK!!!