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Tom Hanks Wants You To Know He Loves Black People!

Posted by bmac on May 5, 2008

UPDATED: because I thought of some more jokes.

Tom Hanks loves black people!!!!

Hey!! Everyone!!! Tom Hanks wants you to know he really loves black people!!!!

No really! He totally does! Really!!

Isn’t that great??!!! How great is that??!! I think it’s really great that Tom Hanks really, really, wants the next President to be Barack Obama, because he thinks it would be pretty neat if Barack Obama could get to be “President of a country that once said, people of his skin color were only 3/5ths of a human being.”

Oh yeah, and he also wants Hope-n-Change, or some shit.

What a condescending, self important prick Tom Hanks is. I especially like how he read his self written little “I know you’ve all been waiting breathlessly for me, the beloved Tom Hanks, to send word from the mountain who I’m voting for” bullshit like a third grader reading a report. Now THAT’S acting!

This little 2 and a half minute “endorsement” is so full of White Guilt, full blown Condescending Elitism, Fake Sincerity, utter cluelessness, and a world full of Unicorns and Rainbows, that it oughta be the “According to Hoyle” definition of a filthy rich white liberal.

Tom Hanks knows damn well he’s not going to sway a single voter that wasn’t already in Obama’s camp, and he even makes a little (fake) self-effacing comment to that effect at the beginning of this clip. This is all about you knowing that he’s “down.” It’s about you knowing he digs black people, and that has a cd in his Range Rover right now of Michael McDonald doing really great covers of classic R&B songs.

Hey DPUD, when you get your dictatorship, Hanks gets an extra special stock right in the middle of Compton.

Update!! Another celebrity endorsement!!! This one’s for Hillary!!

Hooch wieghs in with his guy!

Posted in Celebutard, Politics | 28 Comments »

Fox News Bad!!!

Posted by bmac on May 2, 2008

God, the left are retarded. Nutroots pissed at Dems for appearing on Fox News.

Markos Moulitsas, founder of the leading liberal site Daily Kos, told Politico’s Michael Calderone: “Democrats are being idiotic by going on that network.”

Ari Melber, the Net movement correspondent for The Nation, told Politico by phone that progressive activists and the Netroots are “not happy about it.”

This idea that Fox News is some kind of right wing spin machine, is just moronic. Is it because Bill O’Reilly is on Fox? To use a blogging cliche,’ “newsflash” douchebags, conservatives hate O’Rielly. How ’bout Hannity? For what? The whole half hour a night he’s on, sharing time with a drooling moonbat and every Democratic strategist that isn’t getting their teeth whitened that day?

Let’s see, who else do we have spinning RNC talking points on the Fox News right wing Nazi propaganda network…..Effeminate liberal Shep Smith? Masculine liberal Greta Van Susteren? Brit Hume, who’s on in the middle of the day, when nobody’s watching? FUCKING GERALDO???!!

*Thanks to Rosetta, who is not insane.*

This hyperbolic freak out from the left about Fox News is ridiculous, it’s old, it’s tired, and it doesn’t even wash.

Are the Dems getting tired of being pushed around by a bunch of mouth breathing, insane, mongoloid fucktards?

Maybe they’re getting a little sick of trying to get their message across on MSNBC, to an audience smaller than a 3 A.M. “Head On” commercial generates. Maybe it’s becoming just a little tedious talkin’ to brainiacs like Meredith Vierra and Katie Couric. Maybe Matt Lauer and Tim Russert stopped swallowing.

Maybe they’d like to have just a tiny challenge, you know, for practice. Just in case sometime, somewhere, someone actually asks them a question other than if they’d like jelly, or peanut butter with their salad tossing today.

Posted in Idiots, Politics | 17 Comments »

Failing Upward With Al Franken

Posted by bmac on April 30, 2008

Comedian-Turned-Candidate Franken To Pay 70,000 In Back Taxes

There’s two things wrong here. First, referring to Al Franken as a “comedian.” Sorry, but being Lorne Michaels mercy fuck for 20 years does not qualify one as a “comedian.”

Second, how the fuck does this guy make enough money to owe $70,000? Who pays him? Why do they pay him? Al Franken has never succeeded at anything, ever. He produced the biggest bomb in SNL movie history, “Stuart Smalley,” and that’s saying something. More people were willing to sit through the cinematic nightmare of “It’s Pat!” than were willing to have to endure looking at Al Franken for 2 hours. “The Ladies Man” laughs at Al Franken. Chris fucking Kattan kicks Al Frankens ass at the box office. You just can’t fail more than that.

Oh wait, if you’re Al Franken, you certainly can fail more than that. Just get on the radio at Air America.

They used to broadcast about 2 hours a night of Frankens Air America show on Sundance late nights. I tried to watch it once. Once. They should use tapes of this on prisoners at Guantanamo. They’d be begging for the sweet relief of waterboarding. Franken is the albatross around the neck of hope, hope that you can make a dollar after hiring Al Franken.

Franken should be an adjective to describe losing your ass. Like, “Oh man, I got Franken’d in Vegas.” Or, “Damn, I bought stock in Segway Scooters, I totally got Franken’d” Or even, “Someone stole you credit cards? Cancel ’em before they Franken you!”

I am beyond baffled that anyone would actually pay Al Franken to do anything but NOT show up anywhere near anything that could have any possible potential of making any money whatsoever.

Minnesota, you’ve been warned. Do not get Franken’d.

This guy has been in the public eye for nearly 30 years, and has yet to do a single thing of note aside from being a total jackass loser.

Wait…now that I think about it, he’s MORE than qualified to be a U.S. Senator. 

Posted in Celebutard, Politics | 8 Comments »

Don’t Start None, Won’t Be None

Posted by bmac on April 27, 2008

Here we go again. Sharpton on the warpath.

I wonder, if those cops, 3 of them black, had killed Sean Bell after firing only one shot each, would it matter?

Full disclosure here, my brother in law is a cop. That being said, common sense tells you cops don’t just randomely murder black men in a hail of gunfire, just for the fuck of it. Trust me, cops would prefer to never fire their weapon if they didn’t have to, for a myriad of reasons. Once a gun is discharged by a cop, even in an innocuous situation, it opens up a Pandora’s box of pure hell for that officer that they would much rather avoid.

There’s an old saying from the neighborhood I grew up in: “Don’t start none, won’t be none.” It basically means, if you’re not doing anything stupid, you won’t have any problems, like say, cops unloading clips on your ass. It’s a pretty safe bet Sean Bell “started some” in a big way. How he did that is never gonna be known for sure, but he did something, and it appears to be trying to run over undercover cops in an attempt to get away from the police. He was also legally drunk. Cops emptying clips don’t just suddenly spring up in the middle of innocent circumstances.

As far as being unarmed, well, he had a car, and appeared to be using it as a weapon. I don’t see a difference between that and a gun. And yeah, shooting at a car that may be trying to kill you would easily justify 50 shots in my book.

Posted in Politics | 12 Comments »

Atlantic City Votes To Kill Gaming

Posted by bmac on April 24, 2008

Another Smoking Ban!!!



Boy is this one stupid. Banning smoking in a casino, is like banning coffee in a bookstore, it just goes together. They tried that here in Vegas to disastrous results. In fact, casino’s are the only place in Vegas you can still smoke indoors, for a reason. A non-smoking casino opened, and promptly closed, before the paint was dry. It just doesn’t work.

If you’re losing your ass at a table, you damn well better be able to have a smoke while you give the casino your rent money, it’s just that simple. I’ve lived in this town most of my life, and I can tell you, people that are gambling, feel extra-special entitlement to do whatever the fuck they want, because they don’t look at it the way you’d look at spending money on a normal vacation. They look at it like the casino is fucking them, even though it’s their choice to be there in the first place.

Casino’s, by their very nature, have to have an “anything goes” atmosphere. Once you start treating gamblers like children, they’re gonna go find a place to gamble with adults. Even if it’s their own garage.

Patrons could still light up in unstaffed smoking lounges away from the table games and slot machines.

Yeah, totally killing their streak, if they’re on one. And after losing a bunch of money, they get to feel like herded cattle. Way to take care of the customer AC! Humiliate people spending money in your establishment by stuffing them in a stinky room. Smokers (myself included) hate those fucking “smoking lounges” because they’re gross, and they’re never ventilated or cleaned, because you know, fuck those disgusting smokers anyway.

After being made to feel like a leper, how conducive do you think that is to go back and risk further humiliation by losing money?

Casino workers attended the vote. Many wore T-shirts with the slogan “Nobody deserves to work in an ashtray.”

Oh fuck you “Casino workers.” I am so tired of this kind of whining. First of all, casino’s are big, well ventilated open spaces, it’s not like they’re in a tiny room in a haze of smoke, like say a “Smoking Lounge.” It’s just not like that.

Second, fuck you casino workers, go work at McDonalds then, crybabies. Actually, you may end up there anyway, after the casino lays you off because you helped the city take away gaming revenue with your stupid T-Shirts. Believe me, those casino’s know what you did, and you’re on “the list.”

When business slows down, which it will…a lot…you’ll be the first to start your new career in fast food preparation.

Update: Thanks for the link DPUD!

Posted in Good Luck With That, Politics | 6 Comments »

Rocket Science For Greenies

Posted by bmac on April 23, 2008

How was your Hoax Day? I mean Earth Day? It was fun watching all my local newscasters get positively giddy about “Being Green.” I think they all came a little.

People really are sheep. Nothing drives that home more than the greatest single hoax carried out on the American people: Recycling. Basic common sense would tell you that recycling is a scam, but even reasonably intelligent people seem to eat this one up. It just never seems to dawn on people that an entire 2nd fleet of trucks are used for this elaborate pulling of the wool over their eyes, even when those eyes see a different truck picking up their empty Voss bottles every week.

Most of you already know this of course, but I like to put in a little factoid for good measure:

Myth 6: Recycling Always Protects the Environment

Los Angeles has estimated that due to curbside recycling, its fleet of trucks is twice as large as it otherwise would be–800 vs. 400 trucks. This means more iron ore and coal mining, more steel and rubber manufacturing, more petroleum extracted and refined for fuel–and of course all that extra air pollution in the Los Angeles basin as the 400 added trucks cruise the streets.

Do you gotta be a fucking rocket scientist to figure that out? Multiply that by every single city in the U.S. and tell me you’re helping the environment asshole.

Not to mention the extra plants needed to separate the paper, plastic, and glass, all using power, all creating pollution. It’s pure insanity.

Here in my hometown, they’re going to the “one bin” system. Know what that means? ALL NEW TRUCKS. Yep, they can’t retro-fit the old “three bin” trucks, so hey, gotta buy a whole new fleet, as well as new machines to sort from the one bin. Guess who gets to pay for it?

What’s really scary is that

A: People are this easily fooled and..

B: These same people vote.

You want to recycle? Here’s the only recycling that actually works:

Posted in Politics, We're Doomed | 13 Comments »

Much Ado About Nothing

Posted by bmac on April 12, 2008

Conan will wield his mighty sword in defense of gay marriage!

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said Friday that he would fight an initiative to amend the California Constitution to ban gay marriage if it qualifies for the November ballot.

“I will always be there to fight against that,” Schwarzenegger said, prompting loud cheers and a standing ovation from about 200 people at the annual convention of the Log Cabin Republicans, the nation’s largest gay Republican group.

“Gay Republican Group” Is that like “Conservative Environmentalist?” Or “Liberal Gun Owners?” Why would a “Gay Republican Group” be in favor of gay marriage? Seriously. Unless they’re not really “Republicans.”

Gay marriage is a purely symbolic gesture for politicians to score points with the left. It really means nothing. Just about any “rights” that you get as a spouse can be achieved with very little effort through agreements that can be made with a lawyer. Those that can’t, can certainly be “worked around.” Anything past that is just crying for the sake of crying. This is the most meaningless, bullshit empty rhetoric waste of time in American politics today.

Nothing proves what a spoiled, whiney bitch of a country we’ve become, more than hand wringing over gay marriage. Freedom and Liberty does not mean everyone always gets everything they think they should always get all the time. Some people have to suck it up, and deal. Not being able to technically marry your boyfiend or girlfriend is not the fucking end of the world.

There’s much more serious shit happening assholes, get over yourselves.

Posted in Politics | 18 Comments »

When The Going Gets Tough….Make It Tougher!

Posted by bmac on April 9, 2008

I wonder if this is really the best time for a bunch of new tax hikes? Like this,

Or this? Or even this?

Gov. Martin O’Malley signs a new tax bracket for millionaires into law. Senate President Thomas V. Mike Miller (left) and House Speaker Michael E. Busch joined the governor for yesterday’s signing ceremony.

I love the fucking smug looks on these assholes faces as they screw over the only people spending money in this crappy economy.

I hope they have enough mansions in Maryland to accommodate the massive influx of millionaires that will be streaming in for the opportunity to “give back.”

The global warming tax in California is obviously the most ridiculous. Funny enough, about a year ago, Arnold came here to Vegas in an attempt to woo back businesses that had fled California to Nevada, because of crushing taxes. It was a huge production, driving around town in a big RV that was all painted up with slogans. Needless to say, it didn’t go too well. The shocking failure to lure businesses back to tax hell, resulted in an even better plan: Tax the living shit out of the people that stayed in California, you know, to show goodwill and all.

Posted in Politics, We're Doomed | 8 Comments »

The U.N….. Useful As Tits On A Man…Actually Less

Posted by bmac on April 8, 2008

Iran laughing at scary “U.N. Resolutions”

The West fears Iran could use enriched uranium to make a nuclear weapon, and Tehran’s refusal to suspend the process has been punished with three sets of UN Security Council sanctions and US pressure on its banking system.

Oooooooo……Three sets of U.N. security council sanctions. They’re getting dangerously close to a fourth set. If they don’t really straighten up, (and I’m not saying this could actually happen, but in theory, it could) a fifth set may, may be handed down. I’m sure that little troll is absolutely terrified of the unthinkable, the impossible, the un-imaginable sixth set, that would surely put into motion the inevitable coming of…..the seventh.

The only thing even remotely “scary” about a U.N. resolution is the possibility the U.S. may choose to enforce it. And after the public unhappiness about Iraq, I don’t think Iran has much to be worried about these days.

No U.S. President for years to come is gonna open that can of worms, you can bet on that. The only positive here, is that the Iranians are such knuckleheads, even if they’re able to develop a nuke, it’ll take them another 50 years to figure out how to detonate it.

In the meantime, they get to taunt us like schoolchildren on the global stage while the U.N. stands there like an ineffective schoolteacher telling their students they really mean it this time, as the kids are spray painting her face.

Posted in Good Luck With That, Politics | 54 Comments »

My Take On The Absolut Ad

Posted by bmac on April 4, 2008

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You know, the one thing that has been almost completely ignored this election cycle is immigration? I guess that’s because ALL the candidates are pro-amnesty. Amnesty will happen folks. It’s a done deal, no matter who wins in November. And Absolut knows it.

Illegal immigration is a waaay bigger threat to life in the U.S. than Al-queda. I wish someone would acknowledge this fact, but that would be racist I suppose. This stupid little ad is not that far away from becoming a reality, especially when our own government is actively participating in making it happen.

Republicans want cheap labor, Democrats want votes, it’s that simple. Who’s gonna stop it? All the angry faxes and emails in the world mean nothing when compared to the gargantuan amount of money our politicians get from Big Business constituents, and special interest groups who want to keep the absolut (get it) tsunami of illegals flowing unfettered across our southern border.

Here’s an estimate by, of all people, John McCain, from the Christian Science Monitor, that gives you an idea of how many a tsunami is.

But in a letter to a constituent in 2004, Sen. John McCain (R) of Arizona wrote: “According to the US Border Patrol apprehension statistics, almost four million people crossed our borders illegally in 2002.” Although many are caught and made to leave the country, a significant number try again. No one knows for sure how many succeed, but Senator McCain’s assertion would mean that the number crossing the border and disappearing into the US economy could be much higher than official estimates.

Four million in 2002. If even half of them succeeded, just think about that number for a minute. That’s probably a lot more people than live in your entire city, in one single year. Just think about that. All the people, all the traffic, all the houses, that’s like importing an entire metropolitan city of illegals….every year. There’s no possible way to assimilate 2 million people a year, without draining social services dry.

Until illegal immigration from Mexico is acknowledged as THE number one threat to our survival as America, that map is more than an offensive ad, it’s an all too real blueprint of our future.

And fuck Absolut.

Posted in I'm Pissed, Politics | 2 Comments »