Tom Hanks Wants You To Know He Loves Black People!
Posted by bmac on May 5, 2008
UPDATED: because I thought of some more jokes.
Tom Hanks loves black people!!!!
Hey!! Everyone!!! Tom Hanks wants you to know he really loves black people!!!!
No really! He totally does! Really!!
Isn’t that great??!!! How great is that??!! I think it’s really great that Tom Hanks really, really, wants the next President to be Barack Obama, because he thinks it would be pretty neat if Barack Obama could get to be “President of a country that once said, people of his skin color were only 3/5ths of a human being.”
Oh yeah, and he also wants Hope-n-Change, or some shit.
What a condescending, self important prick Tom Hanks is. I especially like how he read his self written little “I know you’ve all been waiting breathlessly for me, the beloved Tom Hanks, to send word from the mountain who I’m voting for” bullshit like a third grader reading a report. Now THAT’S acting!
This little 2 and a half minute “endorsement” is so full of White Guilt, full blown Condescending Elitism, Fake Sincerity, utter cluelessness, and a world full of Unicorns and Rainbows, that it oughta be the “According to Hoyle” definition of a filthy rich white liberal.
Tom Hanks knows damn well he’s not going to sway a single voter that wasn’t already in Obama’s camp, and he even makes a little (fake) self-effacing comment to that effect at the beginning of this clip. This is all about you knowing that he’s “down.” It’s about you knowing he digs black people, and that has a cd in his Range Rover right now of Michael McDonald doing really great covers of classic R&B songs.
Hey DPUD, when you get your dictatorship, Hanks gets an extra special stock right in the middle of Compton.
Update!! Another celebrity endorsement!!! This one’s for Hillary!!
A Fine Line Between Stupid And Clever 
doubleplusundead said
Heh.
Rosetta said
I actually don’t mind his video all that much. Mostly because I like Forrest Gump, I assume all actors are delusional libtards and I don’t give a fuck what anyone without a real job thinks.
However the fact that this was a news story, THAT irritates me. This is a dog-bites-man story. Why was it on the cable shows all day? If he endorsed McCain, now that would have been news.
Stupid lib is as stupid lib does.
bmac said
It’s not that he’s endorsing Obama, I mean, no shit, what a shocker (yawn)
It’s his fucking “Aww shucks, I’m just a reg-lar actor type fella, and you know, even though I’m worth 900 billion dollars, I’m voting for the black guy, cause shucks, you know, black people got an unfair shake 230 years ago, and dang, here’s my chance to show how much I hate injustice, and show what a reg-lar type fella I am, just like you. But with 900 billion dollars.”
Like a fucking fake ass Jimmy Stewart or something. Full. Of. Shit.
Rosetta said
Hahahahaha. I get your point.
But he does read a lot of history.
Yay.
Moron Pundit said
Now they need to get Bubba to endorse Hillary.
Or Antonio Banderas to endorse John McCain.
Or Hooch to endorse Ron Paul.
If I could photoshop I’d do them right now.
Rosetta said
Hahahahaha!!
Hooch. Good one, MP.
bmac said
But he does read a lot of history.
HaHaHaHaHa!! What a tool!
Rosetta said
I read a lot of comic books and Penthouse Forum.
Rosetta said
Hey TOM HANKS, I read “A Fine Line Between Stupid and Clever”.
What does your momma say about that??!
Moron Pundit said
Okay, I’ve actually created the Hooch endorsement too. Looks like shit but it gets the point across.
I want to know who an actor is voting for like I want to know the size of Paris Hilton’s genital herpes sores.
Tom Hanks Momma said
Rosetta, you are clearly an intellegent, well read and informed voter. Plus, that’s a great Avatar.
I’d like to have your children, so that Tom could have a little brother/sister/lesbian that’s half Rosetta.
Rosetta said
I want to know who an actor is voting for like I want to know the size of Paris Hilton’s genital herpes sores.
Are they bigger than a bread basket?
*Violent BARF*
Rosetta said
I’d like to have your children, so that Tom could have a little brother/sister/lesbian that’s half Rosetta.
I didn’t know that Heidi Klum had a kid named Tom.
Rosetta said
Man, it seems like just yesterday you were nine.
For some reason that stupid line cracked me up. Hahahaha! Seriously…COME ON!
PASS!
Rosetta said
I hate having three comments in a row.
Loser.
Rosetta said
DAMMIT!!!
What’s worse that three comments in a row??
FOUR IN A ROW!!!!
Rosetta said
FUCKING FIVE IN A ROW!!!!!!!
GET A LIFE!!!!
Rosetta said
AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! SIXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!!
Rosetta said
I’m quitting before I have seven comments in a row as that would make me a certifiable loser jagoff.
Rosetta said
FUCKING FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rosetta said
Tom Hanks wants you to know he really loves black people!!!!
Campaign song:
Word to your momma.
bmac said
*s-l-o-w-l-y backing away from Rosetta*
Rosetta said
Hahahaha. Uh…sorry about the mess. Got bored after having cocktails.
Feel free to clean up the mess with the “delete comment” button.
bmac said
Feel free to clean up the mess with the “delete comment” button.
Nah, it’s quite entertaining. Sorta like Mr Hand leaving Jeff Spicoli’s “I don’t Know” on the blackboard.
Nigel said
UPDATED: because I thought of some more jokes.
Jokes? Still waiting for the first one…
OH! You were being sarcastic in this post. I thought this was serious commentary and analysis…
Gotta be careful when spoofing libtards…you can never tell the difference between spoofing and reality…
bmac said
…you can never tell the difference between spoofing and reality…
It’s such a fine line between……
Yeah, I find when I’m serious, my traffic slows to even more of a crawl…as it will today…..
chris said
wow cool discussion
John M. Koroly said
“Self-important prick?” I once saw Kevin Pollak (who worked with him) ask another actor who also had “were you ready for just how COLOSSAL a prick he was?” He’s always struck me that way, too.