Fun With The DMV!

About 6 years ago, I purchased a Ford F-350 diesel truck, because at the time, I did slab marble and granite for a living. If you don’t know, slab marble and granite installation is stuff like, granite kitchen countertops, marble bathroom vanities, and commercial stuff like walls in fancy lobbys, registration desks, just about anything that can have big pieces of stone on them. I needed a really heavy duty truck to carry this stuff to job sites, because obviously, it’s incredibly heavy. A half-ton pickup just can’t handle the load.

Two years after I bought the truck, I quit construction because, frankly, I was getting too old to carry around 300 lb pieces of rock everyday, and too old to take shit from younger foremen who didn’t know fuck- all about my trade. This is all superfluous information, but hey, it gives you a little insight into what a bmac is.

I was especially happy about the purchase, because 6 years ago, diesel gas was about 20-50 cents less a gallon than regular, and no smog check was needed to register the truck, because you can’t measure smog emissions without a catalytic converter, which does not exist on a diesel engine.

My euphoria at bypassing the system was short-lived however, as diesel trucks became all the rage here in Vegas, and this did not go unnoticed by the DMV, who immediately made smog checks mandatory on these vehicles that cannot possibly be smog checked. Not only can they not be smog checked, they can’t send the results of the non-smog check to the DMV. Know what that means? I can’t pay my registration online, because they don’t have the non-results of my non-smog check, that I paid $50 for.

This happens every year, this being the FOURTH YEAR that they haven’t bothered to figure out how to handle imaginary smog checks on vehicles that CANNOT POSSIBLY BE smog checked.

Which means I again have to go to the fucking DMV, and stand in line for at least an hour, to give the state money for finding an unnecessary way to fuck me out of $50 bucks.

Oh, let me tell you about the first year they did this. I went to get the imaginary smog check at a place that claimed they did imaginary smog checks. The idiot at the place spent about 15 minutes looking under the hood in vain for the catalytic converter, then failed me because he’s a fucking retard, and sent the fail right to the DMV, which meant I couldn’t go find another retard who understood this is all a fucking scam.

I then had to go to the DMV, where another retard had to TAKE A FUCKING PICTURE of the little sticker under my hood that says “This engine has no catalytic converter” to prove I technically didn’t fail the imaginary smog check, then I got to stand in line AGAIN, with the retards poloroid of the underside of my hood. This entire process took almost a full day.

Every fucking year with this shit.

Oh, and diesel gas is now 60 cents MORE a gallon than regular.

Anybody wanna buy a truck?